When will I learn to LOVE this?

May 19, 2008 at 2:09 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 10 Comments

I really want to be one of those people who LOVES doing physical stuff. One of those people who feel incomplete if they didn’t get in a workout that day. One of those people who looks forward to getting their heart rate up and breaking a sweat and shaving a few seconds off of their fastest time. One of those people who has an entire wardrobe devoted strictly to workout wear. One of those people who drinks wheat germ and grass and bee pollen and barley and swears they love the taste as they bounce off the walls with all the energy it provides.  One day…one day…

Meantime, I went to Target and bought a pair of shorts and a tank top with a bra built in. I felt special just laying those babies up on the conveyor belt to be scanned and purchased. I did get a little presumptuous by going with the size medium, which I had to exchange for the large the next day. No matter how much weight I lose, I am constantly reminded that I still need to lose more.

Anyway, I experience death and near-death on two of my walks this weekend. I was pushing my baby in her fancy jogging stroller — thanks again, Big Al! — when this car comes barreling down the street toward us. This squirrel with an apparent death wish decides that is the precise moment he wants to meet his maker and runs full speed directly into the car’s path….less than 10 feet away from me and my child, who was thankfully distracted by her book. I got to hear the thud and see the flailing as this little thing squirmed and writhed in the road and the death machine of a car just kept on going as if nothing had happened, not even slowing down for an “Oh my gosh! Did I just hit something?” It was awful. But what is up with those stupid squirrels? We’ve got a million of them in our neighborhood and our streets are littered with their carcasses!

Then today, I’m out walking alone, just me in my new tank top and size large shorts, bopping along to all the nasty songs I’ve downloaded on my iPod. And here comes another car. And it’s coming straight for me. Seriously. Straight for me. I’m walking in the gutter as it is, but I had to make a last-second jump up onto the grass to avoid ending up like that squirrel. What is up with that? Was this a KKITM listener who thought she would do the world a favor and remove me from the airwaves on a permanent basis? Because you know that’s the first place my mind went. 

But despite the death and near-death experience, I will be back out there walking again tomorrow. But I will be walking more defensively from now on. And soon, I will grow to love it.




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  1. Kelly, just keep pushing. When you start seeing the results and seeing how so much positive comes from what you’re doing, you will begin to love it. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about a big ol’ Braums peanut-butter/fudge sundae with a ton of whipped topping, but it always makes me feel like crud afterwards. The same for any kind of junk. Eat right, exercise and you’ll get it. If anything, you’re a Southern girl with a firm faith, think of it this way… your body is a temple, a gift from God. If you’re not doing good things for it, you’re not caring for the gift you were given.
    Good luck! You can do it. Now go work your way into those size Medium shorts!
    You go girl!

  2. Kellie, I used to be a workout fanatic (before I was laid low by MS) I walked, ran, did dance aerobics daily and lifted weights and did lunges. Every day, vacations included. I am 5 ft tall and weighed 104 – 108 then. I still took a LARGE in almost every thing, especially tops. That’s just my frame and the way things are sized.

    Your frame may mean medium top and large shorts. Plus, do you realize just how SMALL garments are? Sizes run way smaller than they used to.

    By the way, when you’re out on the streets, always have a place to jump to. Stay alert, not just of cars that may get close to you, but cars that may follow you (and dogs!) I always had an escape route where I could go and a car couldn’t follow. I didn’t often use music, because it was too distracting. I lived and worked out in quiet, “nice” neighborhoods, but I kept alert all the time.

    I once had a car cross the road just after it passed me – the driver had a heart attack and hit a tree as I watched. 4 seconds earlier, he’d have mowed me down on the way. So be AWARE, all the time, of what is going on. Running and/or walking can be pleasant, and you DO get into it and almost yearn for it after a while. It’s like brushing your teeth, you literally get to a point where if you don’t do it, you feel oogie. Keep it up, but don’t stress over sizes!

    I look at you and immediately think “slender woman” — Maybe one who is not quite as toned as she’d like to be, but that is really very easily fixed! Just stand tall, walk at least 30 mins daily and do a few lunges, and you’ll not only feel better, you’ll be happier with your body.

  3. i have seen a man get rolled over by a tank…*true*

  4. I have always wished I was one of those people who love to work out as well. I have to make myself do it every day. Even when I was doing something I enjoyed like Spin or Hip Hop class, I still had to force myself. Even those times I stuck to a diet and workout regime and saw results, I still have never LOVED or really liked exercising all that much. I would much rather get off of work, go home, put on my pj’s and veg out.

  5. Taking an energy booster that helps you focus usually works for me. Jet Fuel is a pretty good one. If I don’t take some thing like that before I go workout, halfway through I’m throwing a hissy fit inside my head about wanting to go home.

  6. You definitely need to get some cute workout clothes that you feel really good in. Spend a little more money and take your time trying on some outfits.

  7. Oh my gosh!! I was cracking up so hard about the squirrel. I live in a neighborhood that is the same way. We have lots of squirrels and lots of dead ones laying in the street. I am so afraid to hit one…I am more afraid of what I would do if I hit one…probably end up swerving the streets to miss one and run into a tree or something.

    Keep up the good work with walking. I hate exercise and am always hoping myself that I will love it. (don’t those girls running without any effort make you sick? haha)

  8. Kellie;
    I read someplace that squirrels are suicidal. Guess all the ones in your neighborhood really are! LOL.

    GOOD JOB on losing weight! I am so proud of you! And you actually went shopping without busting into tears and curling up in the fetal position on the dressing room floor? How awesome is THAT?

    Have a great day!

  9. OK, I’m glad I am not the only one with squirrel issues. There have been 3 dead squirrels in front of my house this week.

  10. well…
    I do hate to correct the one poster about sizes being a lot smaller than they used to be.
    Too bad it’s the opposite :((
    A size 6 today is what a 12/14 was a long time ago.
    I wish you were correct though.

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