delicious word of the day — “rigmarole”

February 13, 2008 at 2:29 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 45 Comments

I think I came pretty darned close to sticking to my Maroon 5 Makeover diet today. And I did my one hour on the elliptical, which amounted to over 680 calories burned and 5.6 miles tread. I know I look completely ridiculous on that machine because I can’t help myself — I have to sing along with all the songs screaming at me through my iPod. I’m actually just mouthing along, but I’m not so sure there aren’t times when a note or some audible air comes out. I’m sure I look borderline psychotic, but I don’t care that much. It gets me pumped up about doing an hour and it brings me joy. And singing along in my head doesn’t quite do it for me. My mouth has to participate. But I’m afraid I’m going to have to do something about those momentary lapses where I forget where I am and I go into this interpretive head-bopping, eye-winking routine. I don’t know WHAT’S up with that, but I’m embarrassed for myself. THAT’S psychotic.

I decided that my wardrobe is completely depressing. There was just something about standing in my closet with Al and J-Si and looking at that see of black drabness that grabbed ahold of me. So I have been on a closet- and drawer-cleaning mission. If I haven’t worn it in a year — or in some cases, 5, 6 or 7 years! — it’s going to charity. I am going to have nothing left but the same five outfits I’ve worn all winter! And they’re all black, too!! I am going to have to take out a second mortgage or something, but I am going to HAVE to buy a completely new wardrobe.  I’m still not finished raping and pillaging my clothes yet, but when I am, I am going to embarrass myself and list some of the stuff I’m getting rid of. You would not BELIEVE the number of turtlenecks I own!!! Truly depressing. 




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  1. I do the same thing with my iPod when I’m on my elliptical =)

  2. Oh, my gosh! Was that the real “Richard from Texas” that commented on your blog yesterday? Woo hoo–you’ve hit the big time! You have celebrities reading your blog. That’s so cool.

  3. I guess I’m out of the loop…. Richard Who????

  4. Kelly, i am not sure if there is one in your town or even in Texas but it is worth looking into… Try looking up freecycle. It is a website were you can post what you have to give away and who ever needs it can email you and tell you what they want of it. It is a good way to get rid of things that you dont want and also get things you might need. I just read the one in my town and a lady needed a crib for her baby on the way and since i have an extra i emailed her and told her she could have she just has to pick it up. Just a thought to go through all your stuff and help out the people who need it. When you do go shopping for cloths try CATO i know you are from s. carolina (which is were i am located and a store mangaer of the one on James Island). Good way to get alot of cloths for good prices and not go broke doing it!! Cant wait to here you in the morning on my way to work!

  5. Theres nothing wrong with singing along to your ipod. It shows that you are a fun and cheerful person. But I know what you mean, we are always concerned with what other people think. That is such a shame that some people cant truly enjoy little moments in life because of worrying how they appear to others.

  6. you would NOT believe how many horn helmets i have in my closet.

  7. Kellie…you want to meet a man???…1st…drop all your current friends…they are of no help to you…they have allowed you to slip into an almost unrecoverable state of mental disarray…i know not your circle, but seems to me and others that your friends may not be happy themselves and seek solace in your misery and continue to fuel your issues…2nd…drop the f’n psychics…the faith you profess clearly states…in NO uncertain terms to stay away…all those who did/do not, met/meet a certain doom…3rd…drop the whole desperation bit…whilst it may be a funny bit for the airwaves, it is becoming self fulfilling prophecy for you…4th…you are a grown damn woman and mother of a young daughter…drop the bar scene…take a course…cooking maybe?!?…bet ya meet a higher caliber of man than the bar scum you have sought after.

  8. the one and ONLY song on my ipod:

  9. Rhonda…i live in San Antonio…trust me…there are many Dicks in Texas.

  10. my neighbors name is richard cranium.

  11. Hey Craig – you sure have a lot of opinions about Kellie when you don’t even know her. I’m curious how you have concluded that her friends have “allowed” her to do anything.

    Get off your judgemental high horse and quit thinking you know everything about someone you listen to on the radio. While I’m sure we know many things about Kellie, I can assure you that we don’t know EVERYTHING.

    And that’s the way it should be – the woman deserves some privacy.

  12. Lori…opinions are like assh*les…we all have them…and they all stink……with a masters degree in clinical psychology, my opinion may stink less and be of more value than others…i think ray charles could plainly see that the Kellie has the same profile of friends as brittney spears or michael jackson…how do you think we beat the germans in WW II???…no one had the ball to tell hitler the reality of the situation…and as for the privacy issue…my comments are posted on a blog in which she reveals the issues which upon i opine…please…if you want to help someone yourself, i am sure hillory’s campaign could use an extra hand.

  13. meet a dude of character & snap out of a funk:
    1…take a class…cooking…photography?!?
    2…volunteer…old folks home…childrens hospital
    3…socialize with the uppercrust…@ a charity ball
    4…museums…art displays

  14. It’s like a big ole slap in the face sometimes when Craig speaks…although I don’t believe we can balme it on others such as our friends all the time. Sometimes even our closest we do not tell EVERYTHING and we keep them in the dark. But the truth hurts. I use bar time to hang out with friends instead of going with the express perpose of meeting someone…and I tell you it is a LOT more fun!!

  15. Pinky T…i meet hot liberal chics volunteering at a soup kitchen…they put out and there is LESS of a chance of STD’s than with barfly’s!!!

  16. HA @ Hillary’s Campaign needing help!!! GO Obama! Kellie – I LOVE your blog. (You don’t delete comments like AL does!) I do the same thing (mouthing songs) and swear people think I’m crazy. But without the music blasting in my ears, I’d NEVER be able to stay on that dang TreadClimber. That thing is a beast AND it burns more calories than then Elliptical. You should try it. Okay, I’m out!! xoxo

  17. Craig stop being so crass all the time please. You have a right to post 50 comments a day and that’s fine and I know it’s anonymous on the computer but most of the people who visit this blog site are ladies and I would like to ask that you stop being so disrespectful with gross humor and imagery all the time. Also, if you are a professional in clinical psychology don’t you think it would be more responsible to recommend not only to Kellie but for other people to get themselves happy and in a good place before they start trying to enter into a new relationship to only follow the same old unhealthy patterns?? I’m no professional like yourself but it seems to me that unless you change your thinking and your own self-esteem issues nothing else is going to change either. I think Kellie is talented and a lot of fun to listen to and I hope she finds happiness that she has struggled with for a long time.

  18. I think singing along with your ipod is the only way to forget you are exercising. Also, great how you put Kidd in his place this morning about the Tony and Jessica thing. He thinks he knows something the world doesnt. Its on the internet already, like you said. Thanks to Joe I’m sure…HAHA… Luv ya Kell,

  19. Craig did you get up on the wrong side of the bed. I like to read funny quirky comments from you not mean comments.
    Kellie does not need to drop her friends. She needs good people around her to get her out of that bad funk she is in. Come on she said she is seeing a Wellness Coach. Obviously she is feeling depressed.
    I do agree with you that the bar scene is not a good place to meet a good guy or even a decent guy. Kellie needs to try taking a cooking class, taking dancing (cuz it’s fun, it’s excercise, & you get paired up with different partners) and or take up painting. All those would help her grow as a person & help her meet different type of men who hopefully will ask her out.

    Kellie you are so pretty and sweet, the right guy is out there for you. Worst case senerio you don’t meet a guy but you get healthier, you learn to cook some simple dishes, and you get to have some fun.

  20. Mary…i may be going thru male menopause…i have the urge to date an 18 and buy a corvette…luckily…i can fight both those very COSTLY urges…that being said…i strongly believe that the inner circle of friends may be a contributing factor to the situation…it is a cruel a vicious cycle of behaviors that seems to be escalating…btw…do you tango???

  21. Lisa…i have always said that before others can love you, you must first learn to love yourself…and believe it or not, i do censor my comments as i am intimately aware of the audience demographic but you must admit…when Kellie talks about wanting to poop…there aint nothing funnier than brick in the toilet photo.

  22. Craig – I agree with Mary. I HEART reading your silly comments but not the mean ones. I also agree with you (Craig) about the inner circle but not the way you typed it out. Did that make sense?! HA! Kellie – FYI – I’ve been single FOR-EV-ER and it’s not looking like it’s going to be any different in the future. My solution has been – Finding happiness in MYSELF!!! It was hard but I did it and I now think I’m FABULOUS!!! 😉 xoxo Have a GREAT day everyone. I have work to do. HEHE!!!

  23. now…something a bit less serious:

  24. abandoned in a cruel world…goodness prevails.

  25. 10 minute cooking class:

  26. take a class @ MIT…its FREE!

  27. Go to Karaoke (I have no idea the correct spelling). It’s a lot of fun and you have a GREAT voice. You would probably win a contest if they had one. I know Craig, this activity is typically held in a “bar” but at least she would be doing something entertaining and not just sitting around waiting for some loser to try and pick her up. Just an idea! I like your ideas too Craig.

  28. Anyone else pretty sure that “masters degree in clinical psychology” Craig is probably a computer geek with too much time on his hands?

    From now on, let’s just ignore him. I haven’t a degree in psychology – but I don’t need one to know that this dude thrives on attention. So let’s not give it to him.

    Sayoonara Craig!

  29. Molly…abfab idea…i did my rendition of “band of gold” at a karaoke wedding…that was not such an abfab idea.

  30. Lori…i do not know much about computers…but i do think in binary…thank you for excluding me from the playground activities…maybe you would like to discuss why you need to promote such elitist behaviors.

  31. Don’t be “hatin” on Craig. He makes the blog more interesting and funny!! And he’s ususally the only guy so it’s nice to get a male spin on things.

  32. Molly…i want you to know i just censored a “sit and spin” comment that would surely get me slapped…*sends self to viking therapy*

  33. I think Vikings smell nice…

    Wht would we do without Craig!? Ligthen up don’t read it if it offends you!

  34. *swells with Viking pride and exudes manly viking pheromones*

  35. Uh oh Craig…you said “therapy”…”Gasp”!!

  36. Molly…have you tried hula hoop therapy???

  37. cop of the year or bad parent of the year award.

  38. I think if we could all learn to do that with a hoola hoop the world would be a happier and less stressful place!

  39. I had a problem emailing this to yal, i heard about the red carpet job and thought id give it a shot. My # is 264-5658 and email is
    Im the guy for you, to meet, interview, and get Celebs talking about kiss fm!!!!! Im very outgoing. And who better to goto the red carpet then a guy named “HOLLYWOOD”, everyone in peoria knows me or has heard of me. I talk to everyone and have no problem just busting up a group of people and saying, “What’s Up?”! (plus you cant always have a hot dumb bimbo doing everything, pick a guy for once, me!)

  40. okay …kellie……did you get that… soup kitchens ….. liberal men…….put out……..and std’s…….. while serving……

  41. Kellie…the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

  42. Cindy…remember…kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.

  43. Valentine romance in december:

  44. Craig I agree with your 1-4 advice

  45. ohhhhhhhhhh shhhhhhhhhhh\t Craig….NOW You tell ME……Couldn’t you have warned me sooner..

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