delicious word of the day — “merengue”

February 11, 2008 at 12:41 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 29 Comments

I finally watched my Tivoed episode of Oprah about The Secret and got all motivated. I’m going to actually finish reading The Secret this time around rather assume that I got the basic idea after the first 20 pages. I am going to write down all the wonderful stuff I want in a journal and I am going to think positive thoughts and I am going to put good things into my body and I am going to celebrate myself. Yeah…I am gonna do all that stuff starting Monday. Isn’t that the usual start date for all this change-your-life business?

I actually took some steps to put my karma in motion on this beautiful Sunday.  I went to the gym and did my little elliptical thing. Yea me! Then I went to a matinee and consumed a ginormous bag of cold buttered popcorn. I would beat myself up over it, but I didn’t enjoy it. That was punishment enough.  Then I went to the bookstore because I was going to stock up on all the feel-good books Oprah told me to get. But everybody else must’ve watched their Tivoed episode of Oprah before I got around to it because they were sold out of the one I really wanted. So I bought Skinny Bitch instead. I want to be skinny and I’m sort of getting used to being called a bitch, so why not be a skinny bitch? In fact, I am going to write that down in my journal of stuff I want. Yes, I bought one of those, too — a special little journal to write down what I want for my life, what I want for my daughter, what I want for my career, what I want for my house, what I want for my body, what I want for my future husband. It’s all going in that blessed little black book.  I am quite anxious to see how quickly the universe will respond.

Other than that, I went to another psychic this weekend because my friend went to her last week and loved her so much that she signed me up for my own reading.  She’s halfway through telling me about my love life and describing my future husband in detail when I realize this woman knows exactly who I am. So then it’s all ruined for me because I’m sitting there wondering, “Is she telling me all this stuff because she’s a fan and knows what I want to hear?” It didn’t help that our radio station was playing in the background, either. So I don’t know how seriously I should take it when she says that by the fall, I will meet my tall, dark and handsome husband who just so happens to work in entertainment as well as dabble in real estate. And as far as Mark Kevin? She says it’s a timing issue. It’s not gonna happen for us. But again, is that because she’s a listener who feels sorry for me and wants to help me get over that whole mess or did she really tap into some psychic realm and reveal the truth about that non-relationship? I guess I’m just going to trust the good parts of what she said and go order myself up a tall, dark, handsome, entertaining real estate man from the universe.




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  1. no one has ever called me a skinny bitch before…but…i have been called a fat bastard countless times.

  2. I think she described big al…lol!!

  3. Just thought I would let you know that Big Al is in entertainment and also is “dabbling” in real estate with his bar in Mexico…Just a thought….

  4. Kellie,
    I just wanted to advise you that Skinny Bitch is not about what you may think it’s about. It’s not a funny “diet” book. I haven’t read it, but from what I understand it is basically a book about vegan-ism. It has a lot of horror stories about the meat industry and things like that. I just thought you should know before you read it and it freaks you out. I skimmed it in the bookstore because I thought it would be good, but I quickly realized that I had intention of giving up meat or animal products, so it wasn’t a book for me. I know a lot of people who have practically given up all meat after reading the book.

  5. The tall, dark and handsome man is Big Al!!!

  6. not to start a flame war…but big al is a dawg…he is the LAST man on the planet capable of sustaining a REAL long term interpersonal relationship.

  7. please…for the love of all that which is Holy…what is up with the generation that requires voodoo psychics, wellness coaches and purple happy pills to find “pseudo happiness”…not that it is anyones concern…but allow me to share with you the fact i had lost ALL that which i had worked for for 20 years in a divorce…i even lost the one thing i loved more than my own life…my dogs…that being said…i drove off in a car filled with what was left of 20 years of hard work…for the record…i gave the ex EVERYTHING…the houses…the car…the vacation home…all this happening shortly AFTER the death of my mother & brother…when…when did we become the depressed generation???…i have seen action in TWO theaters of war…i did not witness such horrific depression in war torn third world countries…*goes into mourning over a lost generation*

  8. these guys may not be tall…but they are RICH and in both the entertainment & real estate business!!!

  9. I’m so laughing right now, because I was just randomly looking at different blogs, and came upon yours. I just watched my DVR’d Oprah the other night about the secret and I had only read the first 20 pages too, thinking I had gotten the point. I have a journal I need to start writing in, and I was looking for Oprahs new book club book and couldn’t find it today. And…I really need to start that diet, but put a peanut butter granola bar in mouth instead. OMG. At least you went to the gym. You have one up on me! I enjoyed reading your blog. Amy

  10. short, dark and rich these guys are.

  11. What did Dianthe name that baby????

  12. Kellie;
    I started reading “Eat, Pray, Love” but quit reading after the first few chapters. Then I read your blog whre you said you were reading it on the plane, so I picked back up again, and it really is a good book! 🙂 I also planned to read The Secret next, so it was funny that you mentioned that in this blog.

    Big Al is who came to mind when I read about the “tall, dark and handsome” man that your psychic talked about. 😉

  13. Craig, while “pulling yourself up by the bootstraps” may have worked for you, for others it sometimes takes a little help to cope. Whether that help is via a prescription, a therapist, a coach, psychic-inspired hope, or the community of an internet blog is irrelevent. We all do what we need to do in order to function.

  14. Kellie: Don’t read Skinny Bitch. I am a vegetarian, and have been for YEARS now, and the book still scared the crap out of me. I had to skip over 50 pages. If you don’t want to read horror stories about factory farming & the brutality of slaughter…SKIP THIS ONE! It’s not what you think & you will be horrified.

    But, if you ARE interested in becoming vegetarian…this might prod you in the right direction.

  15. favorite Kellie line: “acting like a kid who had all the red sucked off his candy.”

  16. Big Al is in entertainment and real estate. This lady is a hoax. She knows you and Big Al. But I do think you two would make a great couple.

  17. Jules…i agree with the fact that we are not all the same…and what works for one may not work for others…that being said…i feel safe saying that the answer will not be found with warm & fuzzy anecdotal book or within the dangerous…yes…dangerous psychic realm.

  18. I am a big fan of “Skinny Bitch”. Yes, it is geared towards a vegan lifestyle as one commentor wrote, but it is filled with a lot of good information that anyone who eats, should be made aware of. I’m not suggesting that you have to become an instant converter but I feel everyone should at least be a little educated as to what kind of impact the food they eat has on their body. There is also a lot of politics, animal rights issues, and environmental issues that many of us are completely in the dark about when it comes to our food sources. It’s a book that grazes over many of these topics.

    I have followed this book up with much research and additional reading. It’s true, we should “trust no one and question authority” (yes that means our government and the FDA) when it comes to our health.


  19. One more thing… all the scary reasons why people are telling you to NOT read this book are the exact reasons why you SHOULD read this book. People assume that what you don’t know can’t hurt you, that’s not the case. Everyone should at least be aware of all the “scary” things that are involved in our food sources.

  20. It’s too bad the psychic was a fan, oh well maybe next one will be better. I think you may want to rethink reading that book. I did that recently, purchase a book without knowing it was not about what I thought it was about. Needless to say I returned it and picked something else.

    Happy Monday!

  21. a vikings version of a pet cat:

  22. Al was totally in the wrong. Friends don’t do what he did………he should have shown you the support and then taken a cab to the other bar.
    Love your show!

  23. Kellie,
    Another suggestion, since you have decided to start journaling everyday; keep a journal for Emma Kellie, written to Emma Kellie, about her and life as it is. I’ve kept journals for both my children since they were born, one is 19 and one is 15. I used to write every few days when they were younger, now I write around special events, Christmas, b-days, graduation, first date, etc.. But I do write just regular day-to-day stuff everyonce in awhile. It’s so moving to re-read back when they took their first step, first day of school to first kiss. They know they’ll get the books someday in the future. I hope they will know how much they mean to me by all my loving thoughts.

  24. LOL @ Big Al being your tall, dark & handsome soul mate. I didn’t even think of that until I read what the other commenters wrote. Too bad the lady was a fan though.

    Let us know how the skinny bitch book is..I’ve heard such conflicting reviews on it.

  25. why is big al on the showbiz top 5 rolling his eyes and otherwise acting like a child???

  26. Haha Kellie, I never comment on here but the first thing I thought is that she (the psychic) definitely listens to your show and is referring to Big Al and lo and behold I switch to comments and everyone else seems to be of the same opinion. Sorry girl, but I don’t think you should believe this one. Also I do think that the less you worry about finding a man the easier it will be to find one. Just let things happen. You are still young, you have time to find someone. Your focus right now should definitely be on that gorgeous daughter of yours, she needs all of your attention right now. Men can wait. Things will happen when they are supposed to.

  27. Mondays ARE good days to start things. Currently (today, monday) is the start of my recovery from heroin. I guess I’ll be blogging for awhile, positive attitudes are what it’s all about though.

    I love your blog by the way, you write so honestly and I just love it.
    What IS The Secret book? I’ve never heard of it? If you were one of the ones that liked Memoris of a Geisha, you should read Snow Flower and the Secret fan.

    i don’t really know how to read what someone posts if they want to comment back (I’m a little knew to the blogging thing here) but if you want to say anything or talk or anything at all, my blog is:

  28. Staticity, good for you…I wish you much success in your recovery. My brother and I have recently reconnected after his long battle with addiction. This year I have rededicated my efforts towards helping him rather than being angry with him. This is such a battle but please know that people are rooting for you. I am a complete stranger and I want you to do well. It takes a lot to even get these words out….”today is the start of my recovery from heroin” Good luck with your journey!!!!!!!

  29. I agree with the comments against “Skinny Bitch”. I, unfortunately, did not read through it first and bought it thinking it would be one of those funny diet books. It is the worst book I have ever read. There is a reason the bookstore had it in stock. After reading it, I decided that if that is the attitude I would have as a “Skinny Bitch”, I would rather be fat. Love you, Kellie! You’re a great mom and person! You’ll get through this.

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