delicious word of the day — “appreciate”

February 1, 2008 at 2:51 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 37 Comments

I have so much stuff I really ought to be doing. But mainly, I should be pulling out my summer wardrobe and picking stuff out for the Bahamas. I should be doing “The Firm” workout, since I went to all the trouble of actually buying the danged thing. You wanna know the reason I bought it? I heard the girl who came up with the whole thing is from SC. That’s it. That’s the only reason.  South Carolina pride, baby! And that thing has been sitting on a shelf since I bought it. Not gonna have slimmer thighs like that…Speaking of, I should be fake tanning my legs and checking out my bikini area and practicing walking without jiggling and taking diuretics and wrapping myself in plastic wrap.  So much to do, so little time.

I actually went shopping today to buy a couple things to spice up my wardrobe. I told myself in no uncertain terms that I would absolutely not, no way, no how buy anything in black. Man! That’s so hard! EVERYTHING I like is black. I ended up buying an orange shirt I cannot WAIT to return…a blue and purple top that plunges too low — trying to revive some sort of naughty spirit with that one — and……………..a black dress. I couldn’t help myself! It looked so cute on the hanger! But, when I got it home and tried it on, “heinous” would best describe the fit. So that and the orange shirt are going back. I should’ve tried them on at the store before I went to all the trouble of buying them, but I stopped trying on clothes after my first attempt. See, there was a cute little Nanette Lapore that was way too expensive and way too short, but it just called out to me and I HAD to try it on. I cannot explain here the reality check that way too expensive, way too short dress slapped on me. Leg lunges, anti-cellulite creams and plastic surgery are soon to be penciled in my schedule. I couldn’t bear to try on anything else after that. See? This is why I’m in a bit of a funk. I simply CANNOT go shopping without leaving in a funk. That’s why I always go shopping alone. It’s such a painful, dark experience that I can’t bear exposing anyone else to it. When am I going to get past that? Let me throw it out into the universe — “I love shopping for new clothes because I look fabulous in everything! Everything fits perfectly and accentuates my amazing butt.” (That’s a leftover thought thrown into the universe from yesterday.) How long before the universe actually starts answering? I don’t mean to sound impatient or anything, but I’m leaving for the Bahamas in less than 3 days and I don’t have a lot of turn-around time here. 

XO
Kellie

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  1. Oh, Kellie. I love you. And I think you’re a hot mommy who needs to stop obsessing over her body! 🙂

  2. Honey, I UNDERSTAND. Shopping makes me so depressed that I end up overpaying for some ridiculous scarf or something just to make myself feel better 🙂 If you ever need a shopping buddy who can relate, let me know, seriously!

  3. Kellie, Kellie, Kellie…. I’m 5’10” and I would be ecstatic to be as thin as you! (I used to be, but then gained a ton of weight after I got married and now can’t get it off.) Rock the low-plunged shirts, and wear black all you want… but just keep it skimpy and naughty. OWN it, girl! You deserve it! Love listening to you guys! Naughty on!

  4. KELLIE,
    YOU ARE SO CONFUSING YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! JUST GO ON THE LITTLE VACATION AND ENJOY YOURSELF! HAVE FUN GIRL!

  5. you really need to quit complaining. you look fine, but you make me want to stop listening to the show and stop visiting the website because you whine WAY too much! get over yourself, there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.

  6. kelly,

    Have you ever tried Isagenics? It’s a 9-day cleanse or you can do a 30 day cleanse. I did it awhile back and lost about 9 lbs in 9 days. not to mention it is very healthy, cleanses your body, and you feel great. Its a great way to jump start yourself to getting the weight off becasue you see results immediately!

    Just an idea! Its so funny I read your blogs and everything you say about wanting to shop alone, trying every diet made to man, etc.. – that is me to a tee. I know exactly how you feel. I am SUPPOSE to be a size 4/6. However have managed to climb my way back up into a 10/12.

    Right now I am attempting Slim Fast diet. So far so good. But then again its only been a week – 🙂

  7. Shopping is nothing more than a swift kick in the booty for most women… I hate it! All it really shows me is that I STILL need to loose those ten holiday pounds and that unless I get implants my breasts will never be big.

  8. Kellie, maybe you should bring someone with you clothes shopping. That way they can tell you how fabulous you look (and mean it) because I’ll bet you’re seeing yourself entirely different from how everyone else is seeing you. God Bless and have a wonderful trip.

  9. I do The Firm workout! It kicks my butt but it’s short and totally do-able! I love you kellie!

  10. Take it from a woman who has lost 102lbs. I traded one evil for another. When I was a big girl, I hated the way I looked in my clothes, but had no issues w/ being naked. Now! I love the way I look in clothes. But OMG!!!! I hate being naked. Yes surgery would help w/ the sagging boobs, the wrinkly skin & what have ya. But you know what! I’m very happy. I’m 43, a mother of 2,g ma to 1! Life is good. I date way more than I ever did as a big girl, and I love shopping. Let me go shopping w/ you & help you out. I’m far from being perfect, but then again I’m not 20 either. Actually my 40’s are rocking! Embrace your naughtiness, your less than perfect body and relax…Everything is gonna be Alright!!! Have a great trip……I’m going to jamaica in April!! Can’t wait!

  11. I can totally relate to the funk you get when you try something on that look horrible on you. Kelly you have such a cute figure that I find it hard to believe that anything look horrible on you.
    I was just telling my mother-in-law that I’ve gained so much weight over the last 2 years and I don’t see it until I see pics of myself or until I go buy myself some clothes. 😦
    You look great, go find some colors and yes some black too. Just remember there are a bunch of women out there who are totally jealous of how skinny you look. I’m one of them. 😀

  12. I know how you feel! I am single and have 3 boys 5’10. I weighed 132 just 2 years ago and over the last 2 years I have moved my big booty back to 155. I know I am not eating healthy, get into a funk when I try things on, and sometimes just want to lie in bed and eat my ice cream and whine. My boys are all in shape and work out regularly and they try to motivate, but doesn’t work. I am 37 and refuse to turn 40 at my weight, but easier said than done. When you figure out the “how to get out of the funk” please post it SOON!

  13. I hear ya, girl. I went from a size 2 to 8 after I had my daughter. It’s been two years and I keep promising myself that I will get back to my old size….still waiting.

  14. I really love listening to you but for heavens sake stop feeling so sorry for yourself…you are not fat…you look amazing…the only thing you need to purchase is some counseling….get a grip! you make all of us that ARE over weight feel even worse about ourselves. I would kill for your long “skinny” legs…you are going to the Bahamas…enjoy and stop this nonsense!

  15. Gina, you do realize that at your current weight you are perfectly healthy, right? Sounds like you might have a touch of ‘Kellie syndrom’ and might never be happy at any weight. I’m not trying to offend you at all but I just hate to hear of women always unhappy with their bodies (especially when they are not overweight). Personally I think life is much too short to be on a diet constantly so as long as my BMI is not over 23 then I am happy.

  16. i am 523 pounds…when i wear all black, i dont look like a am a pound over 345.

  17. looool…..i needed something to laugh at tonight…..

  18. Okay, I used to be someone who was majorly annoyed by Craig. But, now…I have to admit…. He has me hooked. I may not always agree with him, but he has an audience in me now. He is like crack-very addictive.

  19. Kelli
    SHUT UP about your body I really think we should take a collection and send you to rehab or a mental facilty to help you before your little angel gets old enough to start mimicing you and end up with a serious problem. Are you type that kows your skinny but likes to complain just to hear that your skinny. Love the show sick of hearing you whine.

  20. LOL, sounds like me. I only own 3-4 shirts that are not black. I kid you not..my closet looks depressing and gothic..but I can’t help that the only shirts that look good on me are black, lol.
    Everytime I go shopping I try on something NOT black..but I just hate them all because I feel like I look 10 lbs heavier in them 😛

  21. Kellie… if you don’t want the Firm system you bought, you could always donate to me!! That way, you can support your fellow SC girl and at the same time, feel good for giving to someone less fortunate than you! lol… maybe that’ll help your funk. Appreciating yourself and the good that you do!

  22. SC Pride is right, BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    xoxoxo

  23. *crickets chirping*…*silence*

  24. Right! Come back SOON KELLIE!

    We miss you, your showbiz top five, and your diary!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  25. Kellie, don’t worry about buying black clothes. I only own black pants. If I try on another color, I think YUK, I look better in black. Then I compare people wearing black pants and khaki pants, the black ALWAYS looks better. I think that is the goal, don’t you!??? Black slenderizes, so what if you wear it every day?!! You will look better than everyone else!

  26. i hope Kellie can poop whilst in paradise.

  27. u know poopin’ and partyin’ don’t mix….

  28. *censors the obvious party pooper joke*

  29. why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?!?

  30. there are 10 types of people in the world…Those that understand binary and those that dont.

  31. 10 out of 7 people have problems with basic mathematics.

  32. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh…i just ate lunch…indian…not an indian…but indian food…my hot gal pal convinced me that it would be okay to eat the orange chinken & shrimp…she was wrong.

  33. update: my lunch is out of my system…for the sake of good taste, i shant give exit details…had i not the strength of 10 vikings, i would be dead.

  34. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.
    UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH.

  35. why i dont tan.

  36. i wonder if Kellie brought us back souvenirs from the bahamas!?!…i want one of those T shirts that says: Kellie went to the bahamas, forgot about us listeners whilst she was there, and all she brought back for us was this t-shirt.
    *note to Kellie…i am a 5X*

  37. Kellie…your audience awaits to hear tales of your island adventures.


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