delicious word of the day — “diadem”

January 31, 2008 at 3:59 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 29 Comments

I have been goofing around on this here computer for over an hour, wasting time and trying to stir up some motivation to write something worth writing about on this blog o’ mine. And as I suck on my heaping spoonful of extra-crunchy, reduced fat Jif peanut butter — no, not listed among the Super Foods, but it is MY Super Food — I have realized that I have nothing of substance to offer today. So I will just write anyway.

 I burned off 641 calories on the elliptical today. I think I look stupid on the elliptical. Other people don’t look stupid. Well, some of them do, actually. And I think I’m one of them in the DO category.  I was about 40 minutes in when this one girl mosied on over to the stair climber machine positioned in front of me. She was beautiful. Blonde. Tan. Great body. Amazing legs. Everything I’ve ever thought that would bring me happiness was embodied in her red running shorts and white wife-beater. She bent down to adjust her shoe before climbing on and even I was like, DAY-UM!  And I meant that with the utmost respect and admiration. I would be afraid to bend over in so bold a position with people standing directly behind me. I am quite sure I would  hear the word “DAY-UM!” but I’m not so sure it would come with the same level of adoration I had for this perfect vision that was bending over in front of me. I am going to read “The Secret” again and put out a positive thought into the universe. “I have a fabulous butt.” Let’s just see what I get in return. Meantime, I need to take another lick from my Super Food.

Here’s something. I don’t know why I can’t just post the day-um video. But clicking the link isn’t that hard, is it?

I can’t help  myself. I think I’ve become what they call a groupie, although I’d like to come up with a better term for it.

I’m contemplating a spray-on tan, but I’m scared to death. I just don’t trust that I won’t come out with orange knee caps and streaks down my arms. But if I go to the Bahamas with the guys on the show, they are going to be merciless in their comments about my lack of pigmentation. If I’m going to do it, though, I’ve got to make up my mind fast. So many things to think about!!!! Will I smell funny? Will it rub off? If I shave my legs, will the color come off? Will I be orange? Here you go again:

 Just watch the thing and let me go suck my peanut butter in peace now.




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  1. I might have an alternative to the spray-on tan: use a tanning bed for about 5 minutes for a few days. I’ve done the spray-tan route before and I looked like the world’s tallest oompa-loompa, save for the green hair and the weird lederhosen. I was embarrased to go out in public. But the tanning beds actually work. I go in for about 5-10 minutes and then I go home. I wake up the next morning and BAM! I am a little less pasty!

  2. Honestly, I believe you are way too hard on yourself. I’ve listened for a few months and hear you always downing yourself. Have a bit more confidence and as I have mentioned before I think you are very attractive and you could have anyone you wanted. Just try to have fun and live life to its fullest. Have a wonderful day. Later.

  3. where i live in work…tis not safe to bend over…EVER…especially in the shower.

  4. i dont know if this makes me crazy…but…i like to elliptical naked.

  5. i like the harpsichord…it ROCKS

  6. If you tan in the bed for 5 or 10 min. and then spray once or twice you will be fine just don’t use the spray only you will get orange. Just a tip for a quick bit of color. 🙂

  7. i gotta be honest…whilst i do prefer the hot latina…why???…cuz they throw stuff at ya when they are mad at you…but…they are LOYAL…BUT…there is something about a pasty white gal that makes me go hmmmm.

  8. is this Kellie?!?

  9. I have had spray-tans both from standing in the little booth and holding my breath, and I have actually been sprayed by another woman. The difference would be that the booth is MUCH faster, but you usually do end up with streaks, while having it actually air-brushed on is done much more thoroughly, but it does take about an hour. I have NEVER had streaks though from having it air-brushed. You might look into that. A lot of places will let you do it anything down to a thong on.

  10. for an all over tan, i prefer to rub blue bonnet faux butter all over my body and do yard work.

  11. Kellie,
    You just crack me up!! Don’t change!!! EVER!! =)

  12. yum

  13. The spray on tan comes off in chlorine or hard waves. If you aren’t in that then I love the spray tan being done by someone.

    Good Luck!

  14. maybe…if i am in a good mood…i will share with you my preparation secrets for a better and longer lasting brazilian wax!

  15. Kelly have you tried doing the air brush. It’s a bit long to get it on but they have great results. Go to a tanning place and have them demo it for you.
    Spray on tans do come off and streaks.

    Good luck getting a bit of color on you before the trip.

  16. can you spot the fake tan???

  17. Kellie, I would hope that you would be intelligent enough to ignore the advice of ANYONE recommending that you use a tanning bed for the sake of vanity. Cancer, anyone? Spray tan would be the safer alternative.

  18. c.g….the same could be said for botox.

  19. Kellie, I’ve tried Mystic Tan before and it’s actually pretty good! It doesn’t leave your skin orange. But after you get one, I would advise not showering until the next morning so it has plenty of time to dry.
    But I was happy with my experience, and I plan on doing it again. Even with my favorite fake tanning lotion (Neutrogena), it’s very hard to get it on my legs with no streaking, but the Mystic Tan doesn’t streak at all.

  20. Kathleen, how much was it for the Mystic and how long did it last?

  21. I used Mystic Tan last summer and here is my advice.
    1. It looks good on day 1 and 2. After that, you start to look streaky in places that have dry skin – like around your heels and toes, knees etc. So if you are going to do it, do it the day before you leave.
    2. Use LOTS of moisturizer for several days. Drys skin flakes off faster, you know!
    3. I was so nervous the first time – there are SO many things to remember like how to stand, when to breathe, when to turn around. Guess what I forgot to do? I left the little goggles on my
    FOREHEAD! Yikes! I felt like such a dork!

  22. Spray on tanning is not so bad. I have done the mystic tan during the summer. It does fade, I would recommend a body scrub to get of all the dead skin before you go it will last longer.

  23. Girls are like
    apples on trees. The best
    ones are at the top of the tree.
    The boys don’t want to reach for
    the good ones because they are afraid
    of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they
    just get the rotten apples from the ground
    that aren’t as good, but easy. So the apples
    at the top think something is wrong with
    them, when in reality, they’re amazing.
    They just have to wait for the right
    boy to come along, the one
    who’s brave enough
    to climb
    all the way
    to the top
    of the tree.

  24. Who would have ever thought it. Craig, you actually typed something very, very, very smart! I can’t believe I am about to say this, but I agree with you! It was actually kind of tender, too. Better be careful – your nice side is showing.

  25. Hey Kellie! I worked at Spa Nordstrom at Northpark-they have a GREAT spray on tan service.
    It’s wonderful, and you should try it for the trip!

  26. As a fellow redhead like Kellie I have to laugh at all the people telling her to just do the real tan instead of faking it. Look, some of us just CAN’T tan no matter what. Plus, why fry and age your skin? Especially when you are in your 40’s.

  27. Sorry I mean to post the above on her latest thread…

  28. real men do not use fake tan products or any other “beauty” aid product.

  29. Kellie,
    If you don’t want to use a tanning bed you might try the mystic tan from the tanning salons, it gives you a better all over color with less chance of streaky-ness and weird orangey color. I tried doing a self tanner a few times and..yuck. I was orange, streaky AND it stained my palms even though I washed my hands afterwards. NOT cute! lol! But I liked the mystic tan, it’s a much better alternative!

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