delicious word of the day — “piddly”

January 21, 2008 at 11:18 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 26 Comments

I am tired. This holiday weekend has worn me out. Friday night I took my neighbors out for a low-key dinner and I was in bed by 9pm. Not so naughty. Saturday night, it started with a Bat Mitzvah. My date was Big Al because a) he was also invited to the Bat Mitzvah; b) Bartendica had to work; and c) I never have a date because married men always have some lame excuse.  Actually, I hope everyone realizes I was kidding about C. Anyway, so Al and I went together. Going with Big Al meant, of course, that the night would include more than just the Bat Mitzvah.

We went from there to a swanky bar for cocktails and calamari. It was there that I picked out a guy I thought was cute and Al finagled an invitation for me. After all these years, I still haven’t figured out how to approach a man and just say “Hi!” Just can’t bring myself to do it….If I’m rejected, then what? I don’t THINK I would drop dead from embarrassment, but why risk it? So I don’t. But Big Al is bound and determined to be my matchmaker right now, so he finagled an invitation. Apparently I made a huge blunder when I told this guy that he reminded me of my best friend’s husband. Al pretty much spit his calamari in my face, “Kellie!! Never EVER tell a man he reminds you of anybody’s husband! Don’t even MENTION the word ‘husband’ when you meet a man!” Seriously? Anyway, Al excused himself to go to the restroom and I was left to fend for myself. Man! Carrying on a conversation with somebody you just met is HARD. Anyway, hubby look-alike tells me we should go to the club where he’s going, but Big Al has plans for us to go to a club where his buddies are going. I forced him to go to hubby look-alike’s club first. And then when I got there, I was like, Now what?? Was I just supposed to walk up and say, “Hi! I followed you here! I’m freaking pathetic!” Big Al said yes. That’s EXACTLY what I was supposed to do. Ugh. So I mustered up what little nerve I had and went up and said, “Hey! We’re here!” and hustled back to a neutral corner. Fortunately, he followed me.

We spent the next half hour or so making small talk. He FINALLY asked me for my number, and me and my insecure self had to ask him to repeat the question, just to be absolutely certain HE was sure he knew what he was saying. So I gave him my number. Big Al and I left. And that was that. And now? I wait. Will he ever call? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. It’s okay either way.  I’ve actually been purposely loading up my social calendar with lots of fun stuff for me and my girlfriends. If a man comes along and wants to be squeezed in there somewhere, good. If not, I’m busy anyway.

I did hang out with Shanon for Fun Day Sunday and yes, fun was had by all. I watch J-Si almost get into a bar fight with some really cute guys. Testosterone. Bleh. And then I bought J-Si a shot when his Chargers lost. Poor thing. I wanted to buy the cute guys he almost got into a fight with a shot, but for some reason, J-Si wasn’t down with that. See? Even when I TRY to be naughty, I’m not allowed. It’s just too much work.

 I’m thinking my naughty campaign has about run its course. But I may still get a wild hair every now and then. It just made me feel guilty to even talk about being naughty. I’d rather it happen organically and on a case-by-case basis. Forcing it is frustrating and downright exhausting.

Okay, I’ve got to go tend to my daughter who just woke up grumpy from her nap.




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  1. I think that is so great that you took the bull by the horns and I bet he calls! Having said that, Al is wonderful but I don’t know that I would take advise from him on how to approach men each and every time but he seems like he got it right this time. Being naughty on occassion is your right as the fabulous modern woman that you are and naughty doesn’t = hoochy. Allow yourself some fun! I hope you tell us all about it when your new hottie calls! Enjoy being single while you can because I bet it won’t last for long!!

  2. on the date DO NOT:
    1…Explain the difference between princess, marquee and emerald cut.
    2…Insist that he’s not paying enough attention during the diamond-cut lesson and offer to go through it again
    3…Call his home number from your cell phone at the dinner table so that he’ll have a souvenir
    4…Mention that your last breakup was especially painful when your ex started using the word “psychotic” to describe you
    5…Doing your best Audrey Hepburn impression, ask him for a $50 for “the powder room” and call him a “super rat” if he won’t cough up the dough
    6…Wear a tiara
    7…Tell him that you’re really looking forward to marriage
    8…# Expand on this last point and include the part about being able to spend someone else’s money — finally!

  3. dang Kellie…i think your approach needs some polishing…take the Neiman Marcus approach…do not slash the products price…mark the product up…make the product…YOU…almost unobtainable…for the love of all of that which is Holy…TRUST me…at 450lbs. i manage to get all the womenz i can ever want and handle…stop with the self deprecating, self defeating attitude…also…whilst Big Al is your buddy…he is a buddy with a hidden agenda in which he may, unbeknownst to even himself, may sabotage the goal…for the bajillionth time…desperation is a perfume that does not suit you.

  4. *also…FIRST*

  5. i am a jew…jewish get togethers are NOT conducive for meeting dudes…do you want to know what the best jewish w(h)ine is???…”morty…so we haaaaave to go to fort laaaauda daaaaale aaagaaaain?”

  6. *just wondering out loud…maybe…the show can go through a marine corp obstacle course…i BET Kellie & J-Si would build/regain some confidence.*

  7. OMG! So five comments, all from Craig! Kellie, can’t wait to see how far this goes, good luck.

    Apparently Craig doesn’t work, he comments and causes “arguements” with others on everyones blogs!

    Love Emma Kelly!!! Cherish these moments with her!

  8. We need some more pics of Emma Kelly! 🙂

  9. Good G*D!!!!
    Will this Craig person just shut the F*** UP!
    You are up in everyone’s ass and we are quite sick of it. Go get a life. You must spend all day on the internet. What other blogs do you post comments to?

  10. Okay now Kellie…I don’t want to hear you call yourself fat anymore. I can relate to your feelings of thinking you are fat and all…we women obsess about it sometimes…but really, you look so tall & thin in those pics. If you went out in a dress that short with legs like that the guys would be flocking towards you.

  11. aww, kelly!! I think you the naughty campaine should be just what you said it is getting to be. Just somehting you do when you get a wild hair. There’s nothing wrong with not being afraid to do something different every now and again. And I think it’s great you talked to that guy. Although I would never get into a relationship with some guy I met at a club, there’s nothing wrong with being flirty…consider it a “wild hair” and it helps build confidence and make you feel “sessy” lol…anyway, you’re super hot girl!! love yaz!!

  12. PS..good lord, son, 5 comments already before 8 am…jeeze! oh wait, according to fake one, I should be ignoring you, because if I dont that makes me a naughty potty mouth word moron, and a loser….even though the person that made that comment is doing the exact same thing they’re acusing me of. tootlez!

  13. kellie.. about the al situation.. i don’t think bartendica ever felt insecure ’til kidd pushed it.. i’m sure kidd does it for the show but he doesn’t ever realize how much he pushes it ’til someone feels hurt..

  14. I vote for the occasional wild hair vs the naughty resolution. You’ll get more sleep that way.

  15. i thought i had a “wild” hair up my butt…turned out it was shrapnel.

  16. Jo…i do work…i do more before 08:00 hrs. than most people do in a day…*Airborne pose #25*

  17. Tess…just this one…i am a loyal dude.

  18. psst, hey craig, it’s either 0800 hours, or 8:00 am/pm…not both mixed. Just sayin.

  19. regardless…i still do more work…i also think in binary…whilst i am writing this, i have worked out pi and have solved the answer to cold fusion.

  20. Kellie

    You seem a lot happier now Taylor has gone and you are the only female in the group. This does seem to point to the fact that you like all the male attention so I can understand Bartendica’s view. Try not being so obsessed with the opposite sex. Value yourself for what you are. You know you are worth it. You make yourself sound like a woman hater occasionally when you are obsessing on getting a man. This is not a nice characteristic.

  21. Kellie, don’t be so hard on yourself. Men will FLOCK to you… in due time.

    Everything happens for a reason!

    and P.S.

    Tess and Jo…

    Go away if all you are going to do is criticize people… this is Kellie’s blog and her fans can say all they want to her.

    Leave him alone!!!

  22. Craig = compulsive liar

  23. Craig is an absolute disgrace to web society. Please, KKITM, block his lame ass forever. I swear to F’n allah that I will not evr listen to the show if his lame ass posts still continue.

  24. […] delicious word of the day — “piddly” I am tired. This holiday weekend has worn me out. Friday night I took my neighbors out for a low-key dinner and I was […] […]

  25. kathleen…you know me not…you have met me not…therefore…you are not in a position to make such a bold and brash statement…tis you now that is found to be the fabricator of falsehoods…i think you may have a future with the dnc.

  26. why not just ignore craig’s comments if you hate them so much? i personally think he is HILARIOUS and love to see people have such a strong reaction to them so i hope you KEEP reading CRAIG’s comments.

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