delicious word of the day — “perpetuity”

January 17, 2008 at 4:12 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 38 Comments

I think I’ve become a bad influence on a friend of mine. She is also the mother of a brand new little person and she admitted that she’s pretty much spent the past year of her daughter’s life up her daughter’s butt. Not a good visual, but you know what I mean. She looked me dead in the eye and said, “I’m ready to go out drinking.” OF COURSE she wants to go out drinking with me. I’ve declared to the universe my desire for naughtiness and it keeps get thrown back in my face. But at his point, I’m starting to feel a little dirty about it. It’s gone from my idea of just wanting to wink at cute guys and developing a semi-mischievous side to being thought of as a dirty-legged, hard-drinking whore.

I called the recommended psychotherapist and wellness coach and got voice mails for both of them. I took that as a sign from God that I don’t need no stinkin’ therapy and that I’m doing quite well all by myself, thank you very much.  Actually, the wellness coach DID call me back while I was taking a 2-hour nap — depressed much? — but I never actually got around to calling her back. I’ll do it…I’ll do it…Tomorrow.

Speaking of depression, I’m going to be fitted for my naughty fashion show tomorrow. I WILL need some wellness and therapy after that! I don’t know exactly how this blind-folded fitting is going to work, but I DO know I should’ve spent the day swaddled in Saran Wrap, sweating out as much water weight as humanly possible. Instead, I went to lunch with my girlfriends, loaded up on bread dipped in rich olive oil and wolfed down every bite of some creamy concoction that left me with pesto sauce oozing from my pores. I even took another piece of bread and sopped that stuff up off my plate! SO white trash of me, I know. But I’m out of control! At least I declined the cocktail offered to me by the cute Italian chef. I did show SOME restraint there. But I’ll make up for it when I take my friend out for a hard night of drinking!

One final thing. I did speak briefly with a man when I was out Monday night and he sent me a message the next day on MySpace. He called me “Kellster.” Kellster? Is that stupid or cool? I don’t think I know.




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  1. Did you all know that Kellie’s daily blog entry is one of the top hits on the web?
    I am pretty sure that whoever this Craig person is, is a phony, hired by the station to keep posting and getting under people’s skin, so the blog stays popular.

    So everyone, do us all a favor and, hard as this is, IGNORE CRAIG’S POST’S!!!!
    Craig will probably comment back on this post but I will IGNORE him, so please do the same.

    I’ll bet my lucky penny this radio station will not leave my comment posted and up because they know I am right. It will be gone tomorrow….

    On another note – Dora, can you please show a little respect and spell Kellie’s name correctly?
    You always spell it Kelly and that is not correct. You would not like it if the rest of us consistently spelled your name wrong.


  2. Hey Kellie,

    If you want to do a quick lose some weight, ie; if you have any water retention, and most of us do, pour 2 cups of epsom salt in some warm bath water and soak in it for half and hour. The salt will detoxify your body of the excess water for half a day or more.
    This is a little known secret the stars use before fitting into those tight red carpet gowns.
    I have tried it and it did shrink me a bit…but I am small to begin with so there wasn’t much to lose…but I had to try it before telling others.

  3. Well I think Kellster is either cute or sleezy…like a used car salesman who smells like a pine tree. no offense to used car salesmen.

    Call those people back- and if you don’t like the first one, try the second.

  4. It’s totally fun to go out with your girlfriends and stay out late flirting with boys but you don’t have to feel pressured into drinking like a sailor on leave to have fun. Have a cocktail or two and stick with Sugar Free Red Bull the rest of the night…it energizes you, gives you something to hold in your hand besides water while you are chatting people up and ps..there is not fear of the bloated and puffy face that one gets after boozing plus it’s virtually calorie free. There’s nothing attractive about anyone over 30…male or female…behaving like a sloppy drunk and oh by the way, packing on the pounds from the empty calories. So stay out late and have a few or two and switch to Red Bull. No hangover in the am and no fear of looking like some cougar on the loose from the night before. Cheers!

  5. In all honesty Kelly…I love listening to you every morning. But you are trying way too hard..the more you want these relationships, the less they will come. It’s when you don’t want it as much or least expect it. Stop wanting it so bad and focus on you.

  6. I think it’s cute. And NO! you are not being a bad influence on your friend. Everyone needs to get out that wild streak every once in a while. I go through years of down time and then here it comes again.

    Kelly I truly feel for you…Having such a whirlwind of events happen in your life eventually does take a tole on you. My life can be described as a soap opera. I married at 18, pregnant at 21 and 24 and husband had an affair right after I gave birth to our son(our 1st child). He continued this affair for about 8 years off and on. The mistress has two children from him…one of which is 10 days younger than our daughter(2nd child). Her other child is 3 years younger than her first. He decides at that point he wants our family instead. It took a long time and a lot of hard work on both of our parts but we eventually got back together. I don’t like to use the word hate but I HATE this woman. She in the last two years, had an affair with another married man with 4 children. She got pregnant from him…big surprise! He eventually divorced his wife, married her and cannot see his 4 other children. She banned us from seeing the girls she has with my husband. Then she went to AG office and screwed us over with the child support order. We had tried for years to take her to court unsuccessfully. We always paid her child support even though we couldn’t see the girls. We do see them now and I love them as if they were mine.

    I just want to let you know that life has bumps sometimes they seem like more than we can handle…but remember you are a strong woman and will get through this low. Don’t be afraid to talk to a therapist and take antidepressants. It all only helps. Sometimes they might be the only reason I still exist.
    Good luck to you!

  7. Kellie you are not a whore.., you just want to have a little fun for ONCE in your life. You go get ’em girl.

    We’re rooting for you!

  8. Kellie!! I love the new name “Kellster”.. I think it is a keeper.

  9. Kellie,

    I remember being in a depression that I could not shake after my second son was born. I thought I was above medication and just knew I would shake it on my own. I finally gave in and my Dr. medicated me. Thank God for Lexapro (sp). You don’t need to be naughty to feel better. You are so hard on yourself. Cut yourself some slack. You work hard, you are a single mom and you have all the pressure of public opinions. Get the help you need, take one day at a time and sometimes it is just taking one breath at a time. You will be happy again.

  10. Personally my name is Kelly and if someone called me Kellster I would be annoyed as hell!! My good friends call me Kell but if it was someone I just met, not s’much.

    Be naughty today!!!

    Where’s Craig? Is it “workout” time in the prison yard?

  11. HOLY CRAP!!! It’s 1108, and craig STILL hasn’t commented!! Did he get shanked in his “prison cell”? or maybe he was assigned a special ops mission, and he’s out playing “war games” lol..sorry I couldn’t resist. ANYway, my bad KellIE, I guess it’s just a force of habit. But we all really do hope you end up feeling better, no matter what you have to do. There’s nothing wrong with spicing things up a bit, going out once in a while and having a drink. I dont think you are having a bad influence. Maybe your friend just realized she deserves some “me” time and because she’s way over due, she feels like she needs to over compensate. Well, I hope you have fun! and we are all rootin’ for ya!! LOVE YAZ!!!

  12. Well said Dora!

  13. Kellie, do you even read everyone’s comment? Just curious, lol. Kellster, I don’t like it, it sounds more like a “road dog” (friend) than a naughty girl name. Kelly Cat was cute. I wouldnt rush into antidepressants, although I do agree therapy could never hurt. I feel they prescribe too many people with antidepressants personally.

  14. whoo hoo!! I got a well said!! yay baseball!! lol

  15. I actually think Craig is kinda funny.. I don’t take anything he says seriously.

    Oh, and Kellie, Kellster is seriously annoying.

  16. It’s so nice to read the comments on here without Craig having written one.

  17. I completely agree that it’s extremely peaceful to come on here now and not see one thing posted by Craig. Makes reading these things a lot better! And Kellie- You go and do your thing girl!! You only live once and nothings wrong with taking a walk on the wild side! And with your friend wanting to go out with ya for a night of fun….there is nothing wrong with that either, to me it seems that she just needs a good friend to be there with her to take time to enjoy a nite for herself for once and all of us always want a good friend by our side to make that happen! SO you have that night and have a BLAST!!

  18. I really liked your diary better when you talked more about Emma Kelly. You ARE trying too hard to be naughty and might loose some listeners over this.

  19. I really liked your diary better when you talked more about Emma Kelly. You ARE trying too hard to be naughty and might lose some listeners over this.

  20. I have to agree with Leah and smithson. Craig is so totally annoying I sometimes don’t want to read the comments. Kellie, I know it’s hard but you really deserve a good man and the only way to get one is to go out and find him. They don’t come knocking at your door…at least I don’t think so. Your beautiful and you deserve happiness for you and Emma Kelly.

  21. I liked Craig. All of you suck.

  22. Craig… please post a comment… or is “fake one” really Craig?

  23. We are only at 19 posts so far today…..compared to yesterday, the numbers don’t look good…or do they?

  24. Hey Kellie:

    Change up your regular make up colors. Try different colored eyeshadow and use some colored eye liner. I always use blue eyeshadow and blue liner when I need to feel a little naughty. It just picks me up. Don’t cake it on like a slut but a little color may help try several colors and go with what looks good and feels good!

  25. Yall hate Craig posting, but when he doesnt post, all yall want to talk about is Craig not posting.

  26. I do not think “fake one” is Craig…Craig seems a little smarter and not nearly the control “fake one” apparently has…if we are all Kellie supporters why wouldn’t we want her blog rated so high!!? Thats a great feather in her cap!

    Maybe the prison is on lockdown today.

  27. Too true Kendall. It’s kinda like a train wreck -we don’t want to look, but we go ahead and do it anyway.

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  29. funny, funny, Kelly and Pinky T, “workout at the prison”… and “lockdown”……………which one could it be?
    hmmm……or could there possibly have been a “Prison Break”?

  30. Swtmoma: The eighties called, they want their make-up back!

  31. to the haters…save your breath…you will have to blow up your dates later.

  32. Kellie…i used to call my gal pal my tasty little bran muffin…she was sooooooooo much more accepting of my humor than most folks here.

  33. Kellie…i used to call my gal pal my tasty little bran muffin…she was sooooooooo much more accepting of my humor than most folks here.

  34. someone just lost their lucky penny…i bet they are broke now.

  35. pet names a gal does NOT want
    1…infertile thighs
    2…tinkle poo
    3…sloth buns
    4…obese jubblies
    5…saucer nips

  36. i wonder if the “fake one” is not chuck…the sentence structure is the same…ssing that federal law prevents felons from being radio employees, i would have to say that i am indeed slim shady…indeed the real shady…and all the other shadys are imitating…so as the real slim shady, i shall indeed, stand up.

  37. There’s a lot of “Craig” hating going on here. People try to get along because not matter how much you want to control who much or how little someone posts you just can’t. Plus Craig is a Kellie fan and not a Kellie hater so chilli out people.

    Kellie don’t worry about going out drinking with your friends. She sounds like she needs a break and a fun night out. I hope you had fun with her and hopefully met some cute boys to flirt with.
    I don’t like the Kellster, it’s so lame. WHy couldn’t he call you skinny or CutieKellie??
    Oh well guys aren’t always quick on their feet.

  38. Mary…sometimes guys are way too quick in other things…*inserts a thirty second counter*…i do not have THAT problem.

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