delicious word of the day — “antibiotics”

January 10, 2008 at 3:31 pm | Posted in Uncategorized | 23 Comments

I don’t feel well at all. Not sleeping. In pain. And no, it’s not all because of residual traces of the Mark Kevin Diet. I actually think I’m getting back on some sort of even keel where all that’s concerned. I know some people think I’m absolutely crazy for letting myself get so caught up in thinking I could have a relationship that began over an innocent email, but I don’t care about any of that. This is my experience and this is my heartbreak and this is me dealing with it and sometimes I deal with it pretty poorly. But I’m dealing. 

However, the particular pain I’m feeling right now isn’t originating in my heart or in my digestive tract. Something seems to be going on with my girly bits and I think I’m going to have to make a little appointment with the doctor to find out what’s going on. And for the first time, I’m super-excited about stepping on the doctor’s scale. I want him to look at me with concern and say, “You poor thing. Eat…EAT!” It’s my stinking fantasy so let me have it!!  And let me have my Mark Kevin fantasy, which has since imploded, but it’s still MINE.

XO
Kellie 

Advertisements

23 Comments »

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. i have a fantasy…i do not think this is the proper format to share.

  2. oh…*first*

  3. I just want to take the time right now to tell you that you are completley NORMAL for the Mark Kevin relationship. Even though you guys didn’t meet face to face, it sounds like you talked alot. I had the same thing go on last summer, where I met a navy guy online who was in Kuwaiit. We talked ALL the time online, and he called me a couple of times. I tell you what, I was SMITTEN for him, and by the time he was back to the states, and we met, I had this whole idea going on about who he was, and what we had going. Unfortunatley, after a few months of us actually being together, I found out he was totally different from what I had made him up to be in my mind. I think the idea that Mark Kevin gave you from your emails and phone calls gave you an idea of who you thought he was, and you really liked that idea. It’s too bad you guys couldn’t meet and see who he really was in “real life” to see if he was what you thought. but everything works out for the best! And I know you know deep down in your heart that everything happens for a reason. I think it’s great you know that there is someone out there for you, and I hope you find him soon!!! We all love you Kelly, and we’re cheering you on!!!!

  4. girly bits?!?…*passes out*

  5. Trust me, this works, and it’s FUN.

    Kellie — stand up straight, and your belly will disappear (you’re the one who claims you have one, but you won’t if you square your shoulders)

    Be in a bar, dressed in a hot outfit (the little spangly black dress is fine)– DO NOT BE DRUNK, do not be carrying a drink — have maybe 1/2 a drink in ya, if you have to.

    So, you’re in a bar, and you see a guy who’s hot and you are SURE he’s single — just pick out any guy you know is “safe” — this works on people you sort of know, and even on people you REALLY knowm and it is REALLY naughty/provocative if you don’t know them at all …

    Walk up to him smiling, back him up against a wall and lay a big juicy frenchy kiss on him, tell him “I just couldn’t resist doing that”, turn around, walk tall and confidently out of the bar, and disappear.

    (Also, when you meet a man you are attracted, don’t say “oh, you’re so cute, you’re so hot”, etc. The best thing you can say that will intrigue a man is “I’m really ATTRACTED to you…I just wanted to say that” Men believe this and like it because it doesn’t sound over-flattering, it doesn’t exaggerate their looks or whatever, it just says someone is attracted to them, and THAT is attractive to them!)

    Another fun thing to do. Sit down where a cute bartender is, flirt while you have a drink he’s made, and in full earshot of everyone at the bar, say to him “how’d you like to make me breakfast?” And SMILE.

    Damn, I miss being single.

    Also — flirt with a guy in front of you in line at the grocery and watch him leave, if possible, try to keep eye contact alllll the way as he leaves and goes to his car. He’ll think about you all day and longer….

  6. I hope you feel better soon!

  7. Kellie, I hope you get to feeling better. Your so awesome, and I am so proud of the woman you have become, after all you have been thru. Baby Emma, is so lucky to have a mother who loves her so much. Keep up the good work..Love your show.
    Amanda

  8. I hope everything is ok. I will pray for you.

  9. Be well, Kellie. And read your email, I sent a bunch of naughty tips that have nothing to do with being trashy, wearing cheap tacky clothing, or being trashy in general. Sensuous and startling, yes. Trashy, no-no! You have what it takes to do these things because you are tall, strikingly beautiful, and look like a goddesss. Throw your shoulders and hair back and go for it!

  10. Craig, atleast she didnt say ovaries, uterus or Vagina….lol

  11. I don’t know why you think you need to be any naughtier than u all ready are.
    Oh wait -1st of all I’m married (until I find a job, get cash together and get a decent car) (I would consider being adopted and would enjoy taking care of Emma Kellie)- guess that ‘splains it.
    Why you get all the married guys – my guess is you’re just friendly and of course look like someone that any married guy would want to talk to. If I were out somewhere and looking to at least find someone to talk u would hit my list.And you probably intimidate single guys cuz of the old complex she’d never talk to me. After being married though u can take on anything. I missed what actually happened with u n freddie as i missed the show for a long time.. One of the last things I remember u talking about the was the balled up socks. That changed my life and i’d like to tell u that sometime – might even write a book someday. Hey I luuuvvvv a great flavored fruity martini as well. I’m probably not as young as Mark Kevin( he’s probably only 12 or so anyway) and surely not as handsome but maybe this little blurb helps pass the time give u asmile and makes your day a little better.

    P.S. If u do get naughty where’s the pics gonna be?

  12. Just wanted to say that I LOVE the delicious words of the day!

  13. The “girl bits” is hilarious! Seriously I hope you see a doctor soon and that’s it doesn’t turn out to be anything really bad.

    Who says a relationship as to be face to face? Heartache is heartache no matter what anyone says. Don’t have to justify your feelings to anyone Kelly.
    Happy Thursday!!!

  14. I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU! YOUR HALARIOUS! I HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER AND THAT IM REALLY PROUD OF YOU FOR STAYING POSITIVE ABOUT THE HOLE DATING THING IM 21 AND A SINGLE MOTHER AND SOMEDAYS I WONDER IF THERE IS A NICE MAN LEFT OUT THERE BUT WHEN YOU GET ON AND START TALKING ABOUT DATING ETC I REALIZE ITS A PROCESS EVERYONE GOES THROUGH! KEEP YOUR HEAD UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL AND HAVE WONDERFUL QUALITIES!

  15. Vanessa…*insert shock and awe emoticon*

  16. on the road to naughty town…just remember two words: Debra Lafave

  17. where did this post go???? okay, trying again. You’re the one who wants to be naughty, Kellie!

    Trust me, this works, and it’s FUN.
    Kellie — stand up straight, and your belly will disappear (you’re the one who
    claims you have one, but you won’t if you square your shoulders)

    Be in a bar, dressed in a hot outfit (the little spangly black dress is fine)–
    DO NOT BE DRUNK, do not be carrying a drink — have maybe 1/2 a drink in ya, if
    you have to.

    So, you’re in a bar, and you see a guy who’s hot and you are SURE he’s single —
    just pick out any guy you know is “safe” — this works on people you sort of
    know, and even on people you REALLY knowm and it is REALLY naughty/provocative
    if you don’t know them at all …

    Walk up to him smiling, back him up against a wall and lay a big juicy frenchy
    kiss on him, tell him “I just couldn’t resist doing that”, turn around, walk
    tall and confidently out of the bar, and disappear.

    (Also, when you meet a man you are attracted, don’t say “oh, you’re so cute,
    you’re so hot”, etc. The best thing you can say that will intrigue a man is “I’m
    really ATTRACTED to you…I just wanted to say that” Men believe this and like it
    because it doesn’t sound over-flattering, it doesn’t exaggerate their looks or
    whatever, it just says someone is attracted to them, and THAT is attractive to
    them!)

    Another fun thing to do. Sit down where a cute bartender is, flirt while you
    have a drink he’s made, and in full earshot of everyone at the bar, say to him
    “how’d you like to make me breakfast?” And SMILE.

    Or, when leaving a restaurant, and you’ve seen a guy looking at you — drop a
    note on his table as you walk by on your way out, saying “I noticed you, too.”
    and wink as you drop it on him or near him (So only he can get it!) Do NOT draw
    a smiley face. (you could also have a waiter deliver this just as you are
    walking by and do your wink then)

    oh! another one…if you’re out having dinner or even lunch with someone, and
    you make eye contact with a guy across the room: If you are wearing a shirt
    that can slide off your shoulder, and he can view that — move your eyes from
    his for a moment, to the table — take a drink if you want — and then ooch your
    shoulder up, drop your head down to it, give it a quick lick with your eyes
    closed — then move your eyes up to where the guy’s eyes are. You’ll be able to
    know if he’s still looking. Don’t move your head, move your EYES only! I’ve
    seen guys actually gulp when this is done.

    or, get a fake tattoo for a while, on your inner ankle or inner thigh, so you
    can cross your legs and have it show — NEVER on upper arm, NEVER on lower
    back. Being naughtly doesn’t involve being NASTY or trashy. And it should be
    something unusual, not a butterfly, fairy, flower or sun or moon. Something ….
    MYSTERIOUS. Even a skull would work…You don’t have to get a real one. Find his
    eyes, cross your legs and keep your crossed leg cocked, don’t just FLOP it over.
    Keep it flexed and taught as you slide up your short skirt. Make sure if you
    keep your legs natural that they are moisturized to a fare-the-well!

    Damn, I miss being single.

    Also — flirt with a guy in front of you in line at the grocery and watch him
    leave, if possible, try to keep eye contact alllll the way as he leaves and goes
    to his car. He’ll think about you all day and longer…

    hugs and naughtiness,
    coco

  18. okay, that’s weird. first a post isn’t there, then I repost, and there are two….I know I’m not on drugs, so…must be Craig’s fault

  19. Well I hope she didn’t catch that Internet Virus from Mark Kevin. I heard it does wierd things to your girly parts!…..egads!

  20. etsd’s???…email transmitted sexual diseases???…EGADS…*covers computer in large protective ribbed plastic sheet*

  21. ((((looks at craig)))) My,that’s quite the “protective sheet” you have there…..

  22. Um Coco, the shoulder thing was just weird……

  23. *HUGE SMILE*


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: