My weekend so far…Only an hour of it left!

November 5, 2007 at 3:17 am | Posted in Uncategorized | 30 Comments

I was going to do all this Christmas shopping on Saturday and I was so excited to knock a bunch of stuff out, but then a friend called I haven’t seen in a while and she wanted to hang out and catch up.  The fun part is, she’s six months pregnant and I got to be the obnoxious know-it-all mommy! I gave her unsolicited advice and helped her pick out stuff to register for.  I loved it!!  Then she told me about a guy she wants to fix me up with. Here we go again, right?

I don’t know…but the more people are wanting to set me up, the less excited I am about dating.  Dating is just weeding out people until you meet the one you’re going to marry, don’t you agree? And from what I remember, being married wasn’t all that fabulous. And from what I hear from my friends who are still married, it’s pretty much the same story.  I am not married, and with a few exceptions where Emma Kelly is concerned,  I can pretty much do whatever the heck I want. 

I don’t have to cook for anybody’s weird or eccentric eating habits but mine.  I don’t even have to cook at all if I don’t want to!  I can pour a bowl of cereal or heat up a can of soup and call it supper!  I don’t have to wash and fold anybody’s underwear but my own.  I can watch whatever I want on TV.  Everything is where I want it to be and it stays right where it is.  I don’t have to ask if I can buy something stupidly expensive.  I can sleep sideways on the bed if I want to.  I don’t have to clean up anybody’s hairs off the bathroom floor but mine.  If something needs fixing, I just call my ever-reliable  handyman.  But I had to do that when I was married anyway, so nothing’s changed there…So why would I want to run around dating people I might accidentally end up marrying??? I’ve got a pretty good thing going with this single mom stuff. Why would I want to mess that up?




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  1. Kellie,

    Ditto! Don’t know how cinical you are being, but I tell all my dates that the closest to married I’ll ever get would be a situation similar to Jackie O and her long-time beau. I want a constant companion, but not someone I have to live with. But spend-the-night parties are fun. 😉

    Happy Monday!

  2. I haven’t been married, but I tend to agree with you about having the freedom from a restraining relationship like marriage. I turned 34 on Saturday and had a tiny pity party for myself. I love having my own place, my space, my own life and doing what I please. Then, again I wonder if I was meant to be like this – alone. I played alone as a child. I was never the girl who always had a boyfriend and I wonder if those patterns in life continue to show these things that have been tattooed into my soul. I admire you for being honest about who you and what you want in your life. I guess that is why there are more single women in the world than marriages.

  3. Speaking of marriage, did you know clips of your wedding is on YouTube? I was watching JC’s Hannah Man Tanna, and afterwards it popped up. I watched it, and it was very beautifully done…of course knowing how it ended sort of took the romantic edge off of it *laughing* But it was pretty still!!

  4. Hi Kellie! How did you like the American Girl store? I was there (the woman waiting with you for milkshakes, well, you just wanted milk! I swear, the shakes were for my daughters! ha!). Emma Kelley is beautiful!! You looked so happy taking care of her and interacting with her! They do grow up fast….my “babies” are now 5 and 7!! Yikes!!

  5. I have to agree with you! I was married/living with someone for 12 years. He ended up cheating and leaving with her… My mom swears I shouldn’t stop dating and that one day I’ll marry again… I look around at my 2 beautiful little girls and think to myself… NO THANK YOU! I don’t have to commit my life and everything I do to someone else for them to just throw me away for nothing. Life is good when you’re alone… Besides, that’s what friends are for! They’re supposed to be there to keep you company and comfort you when you’re down… I’m with you on the whole single mommy thing!

  6. amen sister! you know us girls though, we just love those butterflies.

  7. You know what they say, “You will find it when you least expect it.” Enjoy your time with Emma Kelly. There are worst things than being a strong, independant, self-supporter. I know you know that. I knew for years you were trying to make it work with Freddie and it wouldn’t. A lot of people did.You have a strong support of friends. You will be great. Good luck.

  8. If something was to happen to my husband, I definitely would never marry again. Sure, I love the companionship and all, but singledom is nice. You don’t have to deal with someone passing gas on you, and laughing about it. Stay single…

  9. I sooooooooooooooo agree with you….divorced for 2 years and loving it!

  10. Kelly I was married 7 years divorced 9 years. It is very hard to get back dating. The fixer ups are like somebody is shoving a date down your throat! Your very attractive and have a lot of fine qualities. Somebody will come into your life when you stop trying so hard.

  11. I’ve been a single mom for 18 years and I’ve loved it!! I don’t have to share with anyone unless I want to, and my son is the only person I need to worry about or take care of, besides myself. I’m way too particular about how my life is, so I can’t imagine intimately sharing it with another person. You have a GREAT thing going, and your daughter is wonderful because of you . . . don’t give up on it!

  12. Well Kelly, I guess I’ll play a little of the devil’s advocate here. smiles. I hate to hear the sound of a woman scorned, but it sounds that way in hearing your post today. I can imagine, no actually I KNOW what it feels like to be divorced, I’ve done it. I’ve remarried, divorced, and done it again! Yep so I think I can speak on it. Don’t let 1 bad marriage cloud your whole vision on love & marriage/relationships. They can be so good when two people are on the same page. And, no matter what it is work. Not every situation will turn out badly. And honestly, even if you date with the “scorned or I’ll do better by myself” attitude even though you act happy to be out and dating people will get those vibes anyway, so meeting Mr Right may not be so easy. I feel that dating can be fun and what you make of it, and you don’t have to do it with marriage in mind, maybe that’s the last thing you can think of it as…but instead just living life and meeting new & interesting people. There are many plus’ to being alone, but when it’s all said and done isn’t it nice to know there’s someone you can always count on? Just something to think about. I’m always in your corner, been watching you for years, and wish you the best…I even lost 75 lbs after writing a letter to you and you actually taking the time to write me back, snail mail! So here’s to you, just live and be happy one way or another…hugs!

  13. I have been divorced for about 7/8 years now, I told myself I would never marry again. I have put 100% into my son – but “Singledom” can be hard sometimes and often think how much better I would be with that special someone in my life and then other times I think that I am crazy and feel the same way you do – I think it is a Catch 22. If you are not ready to date, don’t – but if you are and you can “Do” – just have fun !! don’t be looking for that specail one yet !!

  14. Finally! Finally, Kellie! You do not need a man to be complete. Trust me, I have one. I’ve been married for 16 years & often think that I will NEVER do it again. I also have a beautiful baby girl who is 7 now & adore her every move just like you do. I think you finally have the right attitude!

  15. Your attitude today of feeling perfect all by yourself is what will bring a man and set him right before you. Once you are happy and content with yourself, you fall in love. Trust me.

    I’m glad to see you’ve reached this point, good for you!

  16. By the way, kellie, don’t accept anyone who treats you like a housekeeper and personal chef, as it sound like it was before. Marriage can and should be a compromise, where both try to out-love each other in their deeds, not a situation of working yourself to death while full of resentment for your partner. I hope you find something magical. I can do anything I want, pretty much (except cheat or run around the bars getting drunk with the girls so I can pick up guys) I don’t have to fix supper if I don’t want to, I watch whatever I want on tv, and HE cleans up, because he does a better job of it. Also, I have a chronic illness and my husband does about 3 times the work in our house sometimes, and cheerfully. He’s never once passed gas on me and hee-hawed about it. He does his own laundry and mine — whatever’s in the basket. He brings flowers for no reason, and brings me ginger ale and a magazine when I’m sick. He values my opinion, and wants to build a life with me. You deserve that. Don’t accept less.
    I’m 52 and married a sexy brilliant athletic angel who is 14 years younger. I didn’t want to get married when we were together before. We were together 7 yrs, then he married someone else when I didn’t want to get married. We were apart 9.5 years. Got back together via email. We have known each other since he was 19 and I was 33. He is the grown up…He is still hot, I am 80 lbs heavier due to my illness, than I was when we broke up in 1995. He could not care less about my weight, and he is an athlete.

    Hold out for a soulmate, and don’t let him get away. I let mine get away and lost nearly 10 yrs with him, but at the right moment, God put us together again, for keeps this time.

    Yours is out there. The one you can be yourself with and not have to constantly think about censoring yourself.

  17. Kellie, I would’ve said the same things you are saying a few years ago. But now being happily married, I cannot agree. I can’t imagine raising my 21 month old daughter by myself. It’s just so sweet to watch my husband with her. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I also love my wonderful 7 year old stepson to pieces. With that being said, yes, it is hard work sometimes, but well worth it.

  18. being married has it perks. but being single ahs its perks too. i used to be able to hangout with friends, spend what i wanted on what i wanted. its amazing befor ei got married the only debt i had was a car payment now i have 3 credit card bills that arnt even mine! i would just stay single kellie…live it up and enjoy it. but an occasional date every now and then doesnt hurt…hey its free food!

  19. You just married a loser that’s why you have such a bad taste of marriage. Seems to me like he used you for publicity to get his business going. I’m glad you’re happy that’s all that counts

  20. I thought I was the only one that felt the same way. I could’nt be happier. In the end your children are what are most important and Emmma Kelly will be by your side till the day you die. Men come and go. I have been single for 5 years been on a few dates but I could care less. I also have a son with special needs so he is the only man in my life. I wouldnt want it any other way. My life is good and yeah there are those lonely nights and where everybody else has there someone and here you come alone or the third wheel, but when you are ready you will make the right decision. Good Luck Kelly. Please take alot of pictures of Emma Kelly and video. You never have enough when they get older.

  21. Kelly –

    I totally agree with you. I am divorced a year and 3 mos but I will say that I have met the perfect one. Not married yet though. If it is right for you then by all means. Don’t change it. Just focus on that beautiful little girl and do as you please! Have a good one, Danielle

  22. Enjoy where you are at THE moment right!

  23. Hey Kellie. Just wanted to say that I think it’s great that you are embrasing and enjoying your single mommy life. But…and I know this sounds cliche, but don’t give up on love. When you’re ready of course. I know many people are in unhappy marriages but then there is the other side too. When you find the right person, marriage can be a wonderful thing. Happy marriages do exist. So, take your time, enjoy being a mommy and if you stumble across love again keep an open mind. You never know what a new day will bring. Okay, I think I’ve packed enough cliches in one message! =)

  24. I am SO with you Kellie! I have been married 22 years, and if something were to happen, I would NEVER get married again! It is hard work, and a lot of compromise. Being single, doing what you want, when you want sounds good to me. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side though, huh? I am proud of you for realizing you do not need a man to be complete. Enjoy Emma Kellie and enjoy your life!!!

  25. Happy marriages do exist. A good partner can amplify life… The trick is finding a good partner.

  26. What Handyman do you use…my husband and i are thinking of moving to Dallas, bc my dad lives out there…whom is also a handyman…he does great work…his name is Mitchell Matlock…he does anything and everything you should give him a call if ever need anything 214-542-3033

  27. I do agree in alot of what you’re saying. If for whatever reason my current marriage were to not work out I too would not want to remarry or even date. There are so many reasons to avoid the dating scene. I for one would not be able believe I was going to find Prince Charming… just a bunch of frog. I don’t know about you but I don’t want to /have to kiss frogs. Happiness is right there in front of you. Your child and being you is what is important right now.

    There are many perks too being married. Sharing your life with someone who wants to grow old with you. Now having said that, being single is sometimes so much easier.

    Do your thing Kelly and if you find love along the way… well then that will just be sprinkles on your icecream.

  28. I was a single mom for 2 years and then married to my current husband. If I could only go back in time…I would never get married. My guy is not a bad guy really by any means. He cooks, cleans, yada yada yada. I do to, its about even. But just having to make decisions WITH someone (parenting or otherwise) rather than what I want is what sucks about it all. ME ME ME!

  29. Who are these men you all are marrying? Find a man who will support your dreams and goals, who is secure enough to not control you. The problem is not marriage itself, the problem is who you are marrying.

  30. Kellie,

    I have been married for 25 years and yes, it is hard work to stay married. And right now you are in the honeymoon faze with you adorable young daughter. But wait until she reaches her TEENS! You will think a demon has entered your house and won’t leave until she is about 19 or 20. At that time, you will need someone to help with discipline and someone to help you stand firm. And it is true that a girl gets a lot of her self worth and how she expects to be treated by boys from her father. So make sure she has her Dad or a strong male presence during her teens. Because one day your sweet princess’ head will turn around 180 degrees and she will no longer be your best friend. I have lived it.

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